4 June 2016
I don’t like this. This BiPolar thing. It is draining. It is bothersome. It’s a ride I don’t want to be on.
For the past week and a half I have been riding the depression train. It has altered my sleep schedule, took away my desire to meet the world, and left me for dead. I am uninterested in everything.
I have no appetite and I have no joy. The only things I want to do are sit and listen to music and drink. But I’m tired of drinking water (I drink 2 gallons a day) and I don’t have enough money to keep buying juice. So I’m stuck.
It’s taken me three days to get up enough verve to write this. But God is good. That’s what I”m supposed to say. And though it is true, God IS good, I don’t feel very Christian today. My faith is not lacking but my joy is. My need for Christ is not lacking but my experience is. Whatever happened to “Life more abundantly?”
Thank the Lord for these meds. Otherwise it would be a lot worse. Who knows the trouble I’d be in if it weren’t for lithium and ziprasidone.
That’s all folks. I’m done for the day. This is not fun. I”m sorry for being a downer. I’ll talk to you again and I hope I’ll be on an up swing.