(Sigh) I need a hobby. I’m bored most of the day. I’ve looked at the hobby lists on Wikipedia and nothing interests me. I’m worn out. Because of this illness I can’t write like I used to. The sentences just don’t come out right. Because of this illness my brain doesn’t hold onto information anymore. I can’t remember any of the computer programming I learned in college and trying to re-learn it is next to impossible, and, if I did learn some, what would I create? I’m so picky and so much of a perfectionist. I’m anal. Everything has to be just so, or useful. No frivolous nic-nacs here.
I want to write on this blog, but I feel like I am drawing at straws to put something interesting on paper. It’s a real pain. This diabolical – I”m sorry, I can’t find the words. Suffice it to say that I have high standards and I rarely reach them. It’s not the fault of my mental illness, it is in spite of my mental illness.
I don’t like watching tv. For the most part I find it a waste of time. Sure, there are a few shows or events that I will watch, but, they are very few. I like music and have over 5,000 songs in my collection but I don’t want to make it a hobby, that would be over-doing it. I don’t enjoy drawing anymore. Writing is not rewarding like it used to be, what with the lack of suitable skill to turn a phrase anymore. Gardening is out. Too hot in the summer – everything burns in the 100 degree heat. Collecting won’t work because there is no room to store things – we are growing out of the space we have now. Photography is out – I’m a terrible eye for composition. So what is left? What is there that can be done at home, that doesn’t take a lot of money to start and maintain, and what is creative enough to keep a mind at its edge?
Is my lack of interest in life due to being Bipolar? Send help.